Looking back at the past month or so, it was really a dark period of my life. Everything seemed to go wrong, getting depressed very often, I practically felt like I was merely existing, not living...
Anyway, there's always a time for getting up again, and facing the reality. It's never easy, so I didn't expect it to be. But this is much worse than I thought. I've left a mess of myself, like a desolate town, in the movies you watch, like Osgiliath from LOTR.
But I have decided, and nothing's gonna change that. I know that I may not have what I want, I may not be as comfortable as some others. Still, all I will need is faith, and trust.
Conditions looked rather bleak. I just ran through the amount of studies I need to catch up on, lecture notes that I have not even downloaded from ivle, let alone seen it before... If there's a time to start, this will be the best time.
Looking at it from right here where I am, it seems like there's no way I'm gonna pull through this semester with decent grades. But then again, I have a hope, because I know God still haven't not give up on me, even when I myself gave up. I still have my family and friends praying for me, and I know that's more than I need already.
It's a very nice feeling, to know that you are not alone, to know that there's someone bigger than the world on your side. It's like fighting a war with hope even though from our point of view, you'll never be able to win it.
Somehow I feel the energy to carry on, much akin to the hobbits going to war in Mordor. There strength yet to fight because they knew that at the end of the day, they have the shire to return to, and the sheer thought of that keeps them going on.
Well, I have a shire to return to also. And this is a much better place, where no one can destroy, unlike the shire. And whatever happens here on earth, it's alright. I'll go on, because at the end of the day, we shall return to heaven, and that will be joy forever!
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^_^
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