I was on the MRT back today, and there was a loud lady rattling to and old lady about her family. She went on and on in Mandarin about how a mother's love is the best. Sounds like a touching story, but it's actually quite the contrary. See, she was the mother, and she was talking about her love for her kids, that in itself is already quite hard on the ears, and she had to say it out LOUD.
Anyway, she said that mothers are the only ones who knows how to love their kids, while fathers only work, and sleep. And if that's not enough, they expect their wives to be understanding and listen to their complains about their job, as if one whole day of fussing over mischievous children is not enough for her.
I think she's a little bitter, or she can't forgive her husband for some reason. But then again, what she said is sometimes, quite true, in certain cases. How many Dads sincerely love their kids, spend time with their kids, being a role model to them? Did all the understanding, concern and communication died off the moment they got married? or was it even there in the first place?
Sometimes, especially in the early stages of my life, when my dad was still quite young and inexperienced, I felt that he wasn't showing me a good example too. It is so important that father show a good example in the way they treat their wives, and likewise for wives. If all a kid see is abuse, then he's gonna think "if that's the way father treats mother, now that I'm a father, I should treat my wife likewise". It even affects the way we treat members of the other gender too...
Of course, I can't just blame my dad. I can see he's sincerely learning, and improving by the day, and THAT is what I want to learn from him. But if it's not because he's always making time to spend with us, keeping communication channels opened in the house (and not letting the TV or computer flood the channel), I will never be able to see and learn the more subtle aspects of his character. As with all human nature, it's so easy to see the negative aspect of a person, but to appreciate the good sides, it takes love, understanding, and communication...
Well, if the cycle is there, how can we break it? I am still yet to be able to answer that question, but with God's help, I shall pray for God's grace to live a life in the way that gives Glory to God.
Which is really part of what I read today in my quiet time, and also very similar to what Simon talked about in BS yesterday. That we should mourn, be meek, because we know we can't live a Righteous life with our own strength. And it is in our failures that God's glory shall shine in our lives.
I think the past month have really been a failure,
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they shall inherit the kingdom of heaven"
and I still can't get over my mourning for what I've done.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"
The beatitudes is really bringing me somewhere, I have read it time and again, but it has now taken on a new meaning...