Life hasn't been as smooth sailing, at least, as I see it. But somehow, I know that God is still in control and I shall in all things, acknowledge Him, and He will make straight my path.
For committing to God is not something that comes naturally to me. I do not know how many times I have faced this dilemma. I know full well that it is written that God's plan is best for me, and that all things work for the good of those who loves Him. But easier said then done. There is in me, a primitive human desire to achieve what we think we want to achieve, and leaving things into God's hand will mean some sort of surrendering our control to Him. It is also a form of giving up my responsibility of planning my own life.
Somehow, this just does not tally with my principle, or habit, of being overly independent. Sometimes, there is also a worry that what God wants may not be the thing that I want, maybe because it gives me satisfaction, or the pleasure that I desire at that moment. How I need to be more trusting – not to be overly caught up with enjoying the icing and leaving no attention left for the rest of the cake, the bigger plan that He has for my life.
My prayer is no more, show me your plan, neither is it I entrust my life into Your hand, without actually being able to give Him my all. My prayer is now "Lord, help me to let go of my life, and be able to give You the wheel, to let You be in full control of my life. To commit all into Your hand, and not question your plans."
Oh how can I God's plan heed,
my own heart resist?
Oh how can I His plan live,
and not my own way insist?
For Thy ways are higher than my ways
Thy thoughts my thoughts,
Even if the world be mine, still I shall say
but for Thy way in me, all in naught.